its kinda late right now..and i always do feel like blogging in this kind of time...
alright....its kinda lifeless week for me...don't know why...
feel like losing myself and is like...always be so freaking blank in my mind....
keep on thinking...how to be a better person....how to get rid off my sucks negative minded thoughts...!!!it will be that difficult...??sigh....is not like my family doesn't treat me well or something....is like i m losing myself....i losing my way....i losing my confident..everything is outta control...even my mind tell me to chill out and cool down....actually my life is full of interesting stuff like frens.....flirt buddies......and i don't have any curfew...i always can go out anytime any where i want.....sigh.....but....y i still feel lonely...???am i really happy...??or i m just acting like i m very happy....laugh and saying sorry....??am i just acting to be strong and its too much and i feeling like falling down right now...??and slapping myself and tell myself (hey..!!!you this stupid bitch...!!!!what the hell are you doing...?!!)can any1 tell me why i m feeling so lost....???is so damn freaking hard to get rid this lost feeling...urghhh...is driving me crazy...and i feel like shouting.....crying....is my stupid period making me not functioning well..???or my emotions are just like to goes up and down like that...???m i in a changing position...??my thinking start changing....my feeling start changing...am i too young to facing this kind of problem...??i m only 18 weih.....i m only 18....!i have great family and frens...and im still here complaining abt all the shits i have...??!DENG.....!!!!is really damn mahai....!!!!!why should i make my life so miserable..?why should i feel stress abt it...??i don't like myself that much...cause i don't even know what i m doing right now....i m not emo abt love....is just...the feeling of lonely-ness keep on bugging me....i just don't wanna find a guy and start to flirt with him and all those stupid stuff...it really doesn't make my life better any way....just rmb someone ask me 1 question...(are trying to hiding urself...??i just don't understand why you could be so friendly to every1...even tho they are just strangers...??y are u acting like this....??)this question been bugging me 3 MONTHS...!!HOLY SHITS....!!!i do really wanna change to some1 like cold..but its so hard....i am that kind of person like to hang out with frens...and what wrong with being friendly...??this is really me....its just me....somehow i thought this person know me well...and he does disappointed me.....because u don't know me well so u just judge by everything i did...and u just have to judge my personality like that...?let me ask u something....what are you doing when u feel sad or upset...??won't u feel like talk to somebody....??or feel like someboddy to care abt u...?don't tell ur not...when she's cold it doesn't mean that she really do......i m just showing myself...and i m clear abt my own personality.....i don't know u..i really don't...cause i think....your the 1 that keeping urself....so...stop calling me bitch anymore...u dick....i smile cause there part of u i still respect for....that why i m still there.....just wanna be strong....and do my things....sorry to show up to ur life...cause i m a BITCH....!!!and sorry for let you gossip abt my BITCH-NESSS......i m so sorry for just being me.......i m very sorry abt it.....:)
